Manook Christmas Outreach and other Christmas Parties...

It's been a busy week with many Christmas outreaches/parties going on. Christmas morning proved to be a pretty amazing, 56 of our students turned up, and we had a great time singing songs, playing games and snacking together. But the best thing was when many of the kids opened up their hands and prayed to receive Jesus Christ as their Saviour. It was a great way to spend Christmas morning, and it'll definitely be one that we'll never forget. I've put together a video but can't seem to get it onto the blog, will try again when I'm in Phnom Penh in a few weeks time.

On Sunday we attended two other Christmas parties. In the morning we went to Pastor Ron's church Protaung, 25Km south of Baray, where Alvin was preaching. Many of the children and some of the adults prayed to accept Jesus following his sermon, pretty amazing huh?! Although he's not quite sure why he always looks confused when he gives his sermons because he did prepare quite thoroughly for them....

In the afternoon we attended a party at Pastor Savan's church - Chatalauk, which is a little closer to home, just 4-5Km down the road. Alvin didn't have to preach, but we did do a short sketch about how to get to heaven. It was fun as the youth at this church had practiced a number of other skits and songs, so it was quite an entertaining afternoon.

We've got another two more parties to go on Thursday. In the morning we're going to Pastor Seng's church Chroneing about 18Km down the road, Alvin will be preaching again so please pray for him. Somrong and Tuol Dam Nak are having parties in the afternoon, we'll see how we feel and then decide where to go.

The Youth Christmas Party...

I feel like I've aged 10 years since Saturday, kind of look like it too, we are so beat. It's been stressful to
say the least. Out of the 600 over people who registered for the party, only around 400 turned up...is it a
coincidence that 400 was the number that Alvin originally budgeted for? I think not. According to Pastor
Kea the youths all really enjoyed themselves, they ate till they were full, had fun watching and
participating in the games, and over 200 listened attentively to Pastor's message. I have no idea if any
received Christ, but I guess it doesn't matter, because God knows. And even if they didn't accept Christ,
a seed was planted and God will do something with it. This is the side of things that Alvin and I are
trying to cling onto, these things make the day worthwhile. Many things went wrong on the day and we
learnt a great deal about the attitude and mindset of many of the Christian youth here, things that we are
really discouraged by and are still trying to process.

Alvin and I had really high expectations for the day and the run up to it, but looking back now it seems
as though we were only part of a handful. For the past two months we have been trying to encourage the
youth to pray and to plan for the event, to look outside of themselves and forward into the future. I
mentioned in a previous prayer request email that it had been quite a challenge trying to teach the youth
to plan and to pray for the event. I think we may have failed on both counts despite our efforts. When we
first started out the youth were all excited about the event and said "yes, we can do anything!" However
come Saturday morning the majority didn't turn up to help, even though we had briefed them on Friday
evening about what needed to be done. Of those that did turn up only two really helped in anyway, some
others just came to watch them work. This not only frustrated us but also the two youths who were
doing much of the work. They complained about the laziness of their brothers and sisters in Christ, so
we tried to have a word with the youth...a pointless exercise, it went in one ear and out the other.

We couldn't understand why the youth were not helping each other, why they just sat and watched
others doing the work, even though they had said they would help. We have since found out that many
of the youth have no concept of a servant attitude. Everything is "I put myself first, others second," and "I
don't need to do anything, someone else will do it." This frustrated us no end on Sunday, as the youths
assigned to the different areas to work either didn't materialise, did half a job or just wondered off. The
result...Alvin and I were left running around like headless chickens, stressed beyond belief.

Aside from the lack of team work and self-serving attitude there was just no initiative on the part of the
youths. We have been trying to teach them about thinking about the next step, consequences of
actions, teaching them about responsibility as well. Nothing seems to have been learnt by the majority.
They say yes to everything because they are too proud to say they don't understand. You ask them to
do something, explain it to them and then ask them if they understand or not, they yes. But yet when
you say "ok, go do it then" they respond with "I don't know what to do." Either that or they will forget, or
whilst they are doing it they are distracted and just wonder off. There is just no initiative. One example is
the fruit stalls, the team who were responsible for organising the fruit stations had gone home, even
though their leader had told them not to. So there I was setting up one of the stalls, and explaining to a
different bunch of youths that I had managed to find how to make the display look nice and telling them
to keep putting out more fruit when it had finished, to keep the place clean and tidy, use the now empty
cardboard boxes for rubbish. What happened in the end? They put some fruit out, sat there, ate some of
it themselves, threw the seeds or peel on the floor, and when the guests came they didn't bother to add
more fruit. Every little thing had to be prompted, it drove us insane, absolutely no initiative.

Now where were the youths who were initially supposed to be minding the fruit? Oh, they had gone
home to have a shower, put on their nicest clothes and came back to join the party, not to serve might I
add, but to be served. Sorry, did I not mention that they were supposed to be at the party to serve the
friends they had invited? I'm sure I did as did Alvin.

One event which was extremely infuriating was that one of the girls who was supposed to be in the
blessing dance at the beginning of the programme couldn't be found anywhere. We were already running
late due to problems with starting the generator for electricity. But once it had started Alvin got the
worship team to do a sound test and asked for the girls to be ready. So I asked one out of the handful of
responsible youths to get the five girls ready. There were only four of them, the other was nowhere to be
found. Jonathan managed to find out that she was at the hairdressers getting her hair straightened and
then crimped, so he borrowed a moto and drove to town to bring her back. Luckily for her Jonathan had
the good judgement not to tell Alvin or myself that she was at the hairdressers, he only told us at the
end of the evening, otherwise I think I really would have just lost it completely. But then I did lose it when
Jonathan told us she had spent $14 doing her hair. Fourteen dollars? Since when do these kids have
$14 dollars to spend on their hair? I have had conversations with some of these girls, and they said to
me that they are not happy, because they don't have money to study, to go to tuition. And now I find out
that one of them spent $14 on her hair. I also found out that some of the youth who were supposed to be
helping had gone to town to buy new clothes and shoes. Why? I just don't understand.

We have been told that many people here have an attitude that if something is from an NGO or "Ongkar"
as they call it then it's ok to take. Because the NGO's are foreigners, they have lots of money, they
won't mind if something is taken. Apparently it's not stealing because the NGO's have plenty. Alvin and I
didn't want to believe this, we wanted to give the youth the benefit of the doubt. But we have been proved
wrong. We had charcoal, sweet potato, cordial, about 15Kg of sugar left, lots of fruit and Khmer Noodle
left over. With all this food left we thought it would be a good idea to sell it on, re-coup the money and
give it to CMS for use in another area, Pastor agreed with us. The charcoal, sweet potato, cordial and
sugar was left in the church overnight, the noodle was taken away to be sold, and we got the youth to
finish off the fruit because it wouldn't keep. The next morning when Alvin went to bring the stuff back to
CMS he found the youth sitting there grilling sweet potato, and drinking the cordial. Somehow half the
sugar had also gone missing, and strangely enough no-one knew where it had gone, even though the three youths sitting there grilling the sweet potato had stayed the night. When asked why they had eaten the sweet potato they said because they were hungry. Alvin told them to stop eating it. However when he went back later in the afternoon to church to bring more things back the youth were there again grilling and eating the sweet potato. Now Alvin had already told them not to have anymore. So we really wonder why they thought it was ok for them to eat more. Is it because it belongs to an Ongkar, so it's alright to take? The attitude is the same when it comes to asking for sponsorship to go to study in Phnom Penh. It is judgemental of me to say, but why should someone be given hundreds of dollars to go and study when they can spend $14 on their hair. Could that money not be saved for their education or living expenses? What is priority here? There are so many other incidents that I could write about which confirms this attitude of "take take take", but what would be the point of talking about them? It just makes me despair.

It's so so hard right now for us not to be angry, we feel that there has been great injustice here. I have
never seen Alvin so angry before, he is usually very good at keeping cool, but even he is cracking. So
many things went wrong or didn't happen at all because the youth were busy looking after themselves.
We can't begin to express just how disappointed and discouraged we are. Right now as I type this the
tent frame and stage is stilll in the field outside the church, waiting to be dismantled. The rubbish hasn't
been cleared away, all of the youth are suddenly too busy. Normally they are here hanging around CMS
not doing very much, now it's a ghost town, not a youth to be seen. Are Alvin and I supposed to do the
work ourselves? Maybe, because then we would be showing them what it is to serve others, to do the
things that no one wants to do. But what's the point when they don't notice such things, when they don't
learn the lesson? They wouldn't even notice that the rubbish had been cleared away and the frame taken
down. I honestly think it would only serve to reinforce the idea that "someone else will do it, I don't have
to." What Alvin wants to do is basically shout at them all, ask them "What is wrong with you? Why do
you only serve yourselves? What makes you think you can take things which don't belong to you?" I on
the other hand have just lost all patience and hope with these youth. I don't want to see them or talk to
them, to me it would be a waste of my time and energy trying to explain.

I wonder if we expected too much of them, bringing our big western ideas to their small village. But then
again I don't think it was too big an idea. The problem lies not in the idea but in the attitude and heart of
the person. With so many hearts pointed inward, this event was never going to be a success. We are
trying to remember that God is sovereign over the non-Christian youth who came, that they wouldn't see
the selfish nature of their Christian counterparts. We both know that we need to forgive the youth for their
actions, please pray that the Holy Spirit would heal and soothe us. And please pray for the youth, that
they would be convicted by the Holy Spirit to change.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

We've all heard the phrase before and know that beauty is relative, it changes depending on where in the world you are. Well, here's a blog about what the Cambodians consider to be beautiful.

On Wednesday Alvin and I were invited to attend the wedding of an aunty of one of the youths. Luckily for us we had the foresight when packing to bring something smart, so Alvin had shirt and trousers and I had a dress. But the youth forbade us from wearing western style clothing, insisting that we dressed in traditional Cambodian attire. So Alvin borrowed one of Pastor Kea's shirts, and I borrowed a dress from Phallim, a girl who works at CMS. I went to a beauty salon in town and got my hair and make up done to Cambodian standard. I apologise in advance to all those who may be scarred for life because of the photos below. Don't look if you have a weak disposition. Anyway, this was the result...

It's not exactly au natural is it? I have never had so much make up on in my entire life, and wiping it off was a mission. I was least keen on the eyebrows, but it's what they consider to be beautiful. I did quite like the fake eyelashes though, even if they were a pain to peel off. It's funny because I thought I looked absolutely ridiculous, like something out of a bad 80's horror movie or rock video, yet everybody was starring at me smiling, saying to each other how beautiful I looked. Three of the girls from Somrong youth group basically just stood there staring at me and sighing "sa-aat" which is "beautiful". Very strange and totally twisted. It was also commented that we looked like film stars, so here's us pretending to be film stars.

Some of the youth now want us to wear traditional Cambodian dress to Kristy and Chun Yip's wedding, represent them or something. I guess it's a nice idea, but don't worry Kristy, I'll do my make up western style so as not to ruin your wedding pictures!! :P