First Blog From Baray

We've only been in Baray for 4 days yet it feels like a lifetime. There have been a lot of things to get used to and we now see how luxurious a life we led in the UK. I think it's been a bit more difficult for me than for Alvin. To set the scene, here are some pictures of our living arrangments.

Yes I know it looks like we're squatting, with our mosquito net strung up like that, bed on the floor and clothes everywhere. We don't have much in the way of drawers or cupboards so we're basically still living out of our suitcases.

And here is our bathroom. Yep, the infamous squat toilet. Just in case you're wondering the brownish colours on the tiles and loo are not poo stains, the water here is slightly yellow due to the colour of the soil. It hasn't been too bad using the squat, our only concern is getting bitten on the butt by a hungry mosquito. However we have had to train ourselves to remember to throw the toilet paper into the bin and not down the loo as it could block it up.

We've also had to get used to doing things in the dark. The generator kicks in at 6:30pm and is switched off at 9:30pm. We could actually use the lights during this time but then it attracts a large variety of bugs. So we try and do things in the dark. The first night we found out that the mosquito net isn't fine enough to keep out the smallest bugs. I'd just be drifting off and then suddenly something would either buzz in my ear or crawl through my ear. There was a lot of slapping of the air and shrieking that first night. We've both been bitten so many times by all sorts of bugs, we're constantly itchy and uncomfortable.

Apart from the bugs sleeping has been a problem because of the noise of passing trucks, the drunks across the road blaring their music out at random times in the night. Last night it was 4am hey started. Then there is a youth retreat going on at the moment downstairs. Boy do they love to worship, they get up at about 5am and start singing, clapping and shouting.
The lack of sleep, the weather and the cold showers have also made us ill. Last night I had a very fitful night going from hot to cold and back to hot again. The night before that alvin had a slight fever. Now we're both coughing and have runny and blocked up noses, another sleep depravator. My coughing is aggravating my back, shock waves go up and down my back when I sneeze....I just want to come back to London now really. I've pretty much had enough.

I've moaned and whinged a lot since being here about all sorts of things, that I want to go home, that I've had enough. But I know that I'm not going anywhere, God has said we are to stay here, Alvin has been hearing this really loud and clear and there is no way I can go against that. I have chosen to obey God but I'm finding it really difficult right now. So guys, I would really appreciate your prayers for God's strength and for us to trust in Him and rely on Him. It's really hard to accept the current situation, and just typing it all up is making me cry buckets.
Yesterday at one of the churches we visited (pictured below), thecongregation prayed for us, and it made me realise how much I miss you all and the sharing we have at home, church and central DG. So what did I do? Yep, you guessed it, I cried. That's 4 times in the past four days, it's a record!I've felt empty these past couple of days, unable to communicate with the locals, can't sing their songs or understand the sermons because they're in Khmer.

However it's not all bad, there are things that I can praise God for. We have a mattress to sleep on for one. There is clean water to drink, there's someone cooking for us at the moment so I don't have to think about that. I'm glad I'm not doing this by myself and that Alvin is beside me, I would have left on Friday when we arrived otherwise.

I also praise God for all the things that He is doing in this province of Baray, there are many small churches in various villages. The youth are hungry for the word and for their cell groups to grow and the children are all really enthusiatic about memorising scripture and their lessons. The primary school nearby is open to us teaching english and also about Jesus there. Currently Cambodia does not allow evangelism in their schools, but the principal of this school became a Christian and is very open to having us. So we praise God for this opportunity. However, Alvin and I have never taught English before so we know it'll be a steep learning curve, and we'll be spending many hours planning. I'll finally be able to identify with you teachers out there!

Ok, I've stopped crying now. It makes a difference when you look at God rather than yourself. Look into yourself and all you'll find is despair as you grasp at nothing. But God knows us through and through, He won't give you more than you can bear...it makes me wonder just how much I can bear...but then again I don't really want to find out. Obeying God is tough, make no joke out of it. I pray that all of you in the UK would strive to obey and submit to God as well, I'm still in the process of this but I can't wait for the joy that will come from it.